YOUR WORTH IS NOT MEASURED IN CHECKMARKS
Have you read something recently where you kept saying to yourself: “Wow. That’s true. Wow, that is so important. Wow, that is so well said. Wow, I learned a lot or relearned a lot from reading that. I need to read that again. I want to share that with people I know.”
That happened for me this week when I read the most recent newsletter from Dr. Taryn Marie. I first met Taryn years ago when I was entering the leadership coaching sphere. Simultaneously, she was building her skills, acumen and reputation.
Now, a decade later, Taryn has grown into an international expert on resilience. She speaks across the country, has a podcast, conducts terrific seminars and webinars, and is respected by people throughout the leadership space. This is the link to her keynote website: Keynote Speaking – Expert on Resilience, Mental Health & Wellness – Dr. Taryn Marie – Leadership & Life Mentor — Dr. Taryn Marie – Resilience Leadership Institute. Check out her book on Amazon: “The 5 Practices of Highly Resilient People: Why Some Flourish when Others Fold”
With Taryn’s gracious permission, I am sharing her most recent resilience wisdom today. Please read it slowly and reflect.
—————————————————————————-
Have you ever had one of those days where you crossed everything off your list and felt incredible about yourself?
And then another day where you accomplished very little and quietly wondered what was wrong with you?
Many high achievers live inside an unspoken equation:
More productivity = more value.
Less productivity = less worth.
We rarely say it out loud, but many of us carry it everywhere we go. It shows up when rest makes us uncomfortable.
When slowing down feels irresponsible.
When we struggle to enjoy a vacation because we feel like we should be doing something productive.
When we interpret exhaustion as evidence that we’re working hard enough.
The problem is that productivity is something we do. Worthiness is who we are.
Those are not the same thing.
Two of the Five Practices of Highly Resilient People become especially important here:
Self-Awareness and Productive Perseverance.
Self-awareness helps us notice the stories we tell ourselves about achievement, success, and value.
Productive perseverance reminds us that sustainable performance isn’t about constantly pushing harder, it’s about continuing to move forward without sacrificing ourselves in the process.
So how do we stop measuring our worth by our output?
Here are a few ways to begin:
1) Notice When Your Inner Scorecard Takes Over
Many of us evaluate our days the same way we evaluate projects: by output.
How many emails did I answer?
How many tasks did I complete?
How much progress did I make?
Those questions aren’t inherently bad. But when they become the primary way we determine whether we had a “good” day or whether we are a “good” person, they become dangerous.
Self-awareness begins by noticing the scorecard you’re using. Are you measuring productivity? Or are you measuring your value as a human being? Those are very different metrics.
2) Separate Performance From Identity
You can have an unproductive day and still be valuable. You can rest and still be worthy. You can struggle and still deserve compassion.
Resilient people understand that performance fluctuates.
Energy fluctuates.
Capacity fluctuates.
Human worth does not.
Your accomplishments may contribute to your impact in the world, but they do not determine your right to belong in it.
3) Redefine What Counts as Productive
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is recover.
Sleep is productive.
Reflection is productive.
Connection is productive.
Saying no is productive.
Creating space to think is productive.
The nervous system does not distinguish between “important work stress” and other forms of stress.
Eventually, every system requires recovery.
Resilient people understand that renewal isn’t separate from performance. Renewal is what makes performance possible.
4) Practice Sustainable Ambition
I believe deeply in ambition. I believe in goals, growth, contribution, and meaningful work.
But I also believe that the healthiest ambition comes from purpose rather than proof.
The goal is not to accomplish things so that you can finally feel worthy.
The goal is to accomplish meaningful things because you already are.
That subtle shift changes everything.
Productive perseverance isn’t about endlessly pushing harder. It’s about continuing to move toward what matters while protecting the person doing the moving.
Your Action Step This Week
This week, I want to invite you to ask yourself one question:
✨ If my productivity disappeared for a season, what would still make me worthy?
Your relationships?
Your character?
Your compassion?
Your curiosity?
Your ability to love and contribute to the people around you?
Sit with whatever comes up. Because resilience isn’t built by proving your worth over and over again. It’s built by remembering that your worth was never up for debate in the first place.
Remember: The most resilient people don’t work hard because they have something to prove. They work hard because they have something meaningful to contribute. The difference between those motivations may be subtle, but one is rooted in worthiness, and the other is rooted in purpose – and purpose is far more sustainable.
If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!
-Larry