LEADERS KNOW WHAT FORM OF APPRECIATION THEIR EMPLOYEES VALUE MOST
Over the years, may leadership authors and speakers have emphasized the importance of getting to know your team members, not just as employees but as people. Get to know their personal backgrounds, their career paths, their educational histories, their family situations.
When you know your teammates as people with unique histories, and you can relate to them as human beings, not merely hubs in the organizational wheel, your teammates will appreciate your efforts to see them as whole persons.
Moreover, when you gain knowledge about your teammates’ work habits and proclivities, you can tailor your leadership to fit their individual learning styles rather than treating everyone the same. When you learn their strengths and challenges, as employees, as managers, as collaborators, you can treat people differently based on what leadership style works most effectively with each of them.
There is another important element of leadership where we are called upon to treat people differently – what kind of rewards or benefits they value the most. When I was a younger leader, I mistakenly thought that I could treat everyone the same when expressing my appreciation. I used to write individualized thank-you emails or hand-written notes to any of my team members when I thought they had performed a particularly meaningful job or treated a client in a wonderful manner that brought a smile to the client’s face – or prompted a thank-you email to me, their manager.
I was reminded of this critical subject last week when I read a “Lead Every Day” newsletter post from Mark Miller and Randy Gravett. They noted that a recent study revealed that 79% of employees who resign from their jobs name “lack of appreciation” as a critical reason for leaving. Mark and Randy explained:
“Not money
Not benefits
But something far more fundamental.
The truth is your most talented team members aren’t just looking for a paycheck – they’re looking for a better boss. In our work with thousands of organizations, we’ve discovered that top performers consistently want leaders who:
-Demonstrate genuine care beyond the workplace
-Stay fully engaged (not just going through the motions)
-Lead with both skill and heart”
Mark and Randy’s valuable words reminded me of a book I read many years ago. It is titled “The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People.” The authors were Gary Chapman and Paul White. Chapman had first written a popular book called “The Five Love Languages,” which explained how people can sustain a strong romantic relationship by paying attention to the individual wants and needs of their partners and not making assumptions.
In the second book, originally published in 2011, the authors take the concepts behind “The Five Love Languages” and apply those same principles to the work world, giving guidance to leaders. They published a new edition in 2024 that considers hybrid working situations, shared workspaces, Gen Z desires, the advent of Zoom or Teams meetings and other recent trends.
They remind us that not all team members value leader actions and words the same way. The leader’s challenge is to find out which forms of appreciation a particular team member values most and then use that specific form on a consistent basis with that person.
The five languages of workplace appreciation Chapman and White identify are:
-Words of affirmation – verbal or written
-Quality time – giving your colleague your undivided attention
-Acts of service
-Tangible gifts
-A soft physical touch
Interestingly, the authors, in their new edition, cite the common error of assuming it is only the leader’s job to show appreciation for teammates. They say that, unlike the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers who preceded them, Gen Z employees are more likely to look to team members for validation, whether that validation comes from words of encouragement, quality time out of the office, or in other forms.
Therefore, today’s leaders must include in their leadership tool kit the ability to create and sustain a culture of appreciation, ideally within an entire organization, but certainly within the leader’s own department or division.
So here is my question for you:
What are you doing – or what can you continue doing – starting tomorrow to build or strengthen your culture of appreciation at your workplace?
If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!
-Larry