LEADERS DON’T ASSUME

I am sure you, like me have heard the old cliché about assuming. You have probably used it dozens of times. “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.”

It’s funny. It’s short and sweet. It’s memorable. And here’s the other thing about that saying; like most cliches, it is true. Sayings do not take on the title of cliches unless they contain an air of truthfulness about them. Otherwise, they would just fade away.

I was thinking about this particular cliché last week after concluding a coaching session with a very smart, accomplished and thoughtful leader. He works at a large international law firm and is recognized as an excellent leader by his teammates and his peers at other firms.

Still, like many of us, he finds himself assuming many things:

-He assumes how people are going to react to things that he says

-He assumes how people will react to decisions that he makes

-He assumes how people will react to behaviours that he exhibits

The interesting epiphany this leader arrived at included two aha conclusions:

-He assumes things about other people as a defence mechanism

-He usually assumes a negative response

The initial step in avoiding the “assume” mindset is to realize that we have a habit of assuming. Without that realization, nothing will change. We will continue the same pattern ad infinitum.

Once we possess the self-awareness that assuming is a thought pattern we exhibit, then we can explore WHY we tend to assume what is going to happen, what is going to be said, or what a reaction might be.

It may be because assuming will lessen the pain or disappointment of a negative reaction, will speed things along toward the ultimate outcome, or will lighten our thinking or execution workload.

If we explore this tendency to assume, then we can identify the conditions that propel us to make assumptions. We can work on this propensity by acknowledging it after it happens (“Darn! I just assumed again without any real evidence.”)

Then we can train ourselves to realize we are doing it again while it is happening. (Here I go again, assuming that negative outcome.”)

Finally, we can reach the point where we find ourselves going toward our traditional assuming mindset and put up a stop sign. (“Oops, Here I go again. I am about to assume what will happen. What else can I do instead?”)

One proven strategy for working on this tendency to assume things is to share our goal of striving to change it and to seek help.

From whom can we seek that assistance? Someone we trust and whom we believe has our best interests at heart. After all, we are choosing to be vulnerable, to share something about ourselves that does not show us in our best light.

We want to feel comfortable confiding in someone who knows us, who respects us, and who is committed to helping us attack this tendency in a constructive manner:

-A colleague with whom we have worked for quite some time

-A spouse or significant other who knows us well

-A close friend who we have known for many years

The key is to select someone we know who can empathize with our frustration, who can serve as a good feedback mechanism, and who is willing to engage in honest and constructive conversations with us on a consistent basis.

Think about your relationship with assuming, both at work and at home:

-Do you have this habit of assuming things will occur?

-Does it happen both in the office and outside work?

-Do you tend to assume negative outcomes?

-Do you know where this tendency comes from?

-Do you have a trusted source who can help you work on this tendency?

-Are you willing to confide in this source for your own personal and professional growth?

If you do identify this leadership behaviour as something you exhibit on a consistent basis, I invite you to look in the mirror and ask yourself this question:

How can I address this assuming tendency in a positive manner that will allow me to serve as a more effective leader?

Usually arriving at great answers starts with asking ourselves the right questions!

If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!

-Larry