LEADERS CONFRONT REALITY

On your own leadership journey, have you ever intentionally avoided facing reality? I know that when I led departments or groups of people, I often would look the other way rather than face a challenging situation.

It is so easy to avoid reality. We do not want to face unpleasant truths. We do not want to give a team member tough feedback. We do not want to rock the departmental boat. We do not want to discuss tough issues.

The list goes on and on. Inevitably, we realize that by running from or ignoring reality, we are only hurting people – we are hurting our leadership team, we are hurting our organization, and we are hurting ourselves, getting in our own way.

I was reminded of this essential truth when I recently read a column by Mark Miller and Randy Gravitt, who author a popular leadership newsletter titled “Lead Every Day.”
They offer their own reasons why leaders avoid confronting reality:

-“Sometimes it is a blind spot we failed to notice.

-Sometimes our optimism runs ahead of the facts. (I plead guilty to that one!)

-And sometimes, if we are being honest, we would rather not know.”

Are you confident that in your current leadership position, whether you lead a for profit-company, a non-profit organization or serve as a volunteer on a board or committee, that you are always hearing the truth?

In my three decades leading the CLE Department at Georgetown Law, I always strived to cultivate an environment in which people felt comfortable coming to me with their thoughts, their concerns or their complaints.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that despite my best efforts, some people simply did not feel comfortable approaching me with their comments, frustrations, desires or ideas.

They were intimidated by my seniority, my dean title, my experience or they simply feared retaliation, being ignored or being minimized. I learned that it is essential to always have at least one person who other team members feel comfortable approaching. Someone who will protect them, stand up for them and be brave and confident with you.

In my case, that person was my Assistant Director Jill. We worked together for more than 20 years. We built an abiding trust that flowed in both directions. I knew that Jill always kept two paramount interests top of mind:

-The CLE team’s best interests

-My best interests

She was never afraid to give me the unvarnished truth, to point out a reality that I was not seeing and to brainstorm solutions for real-time problems rather than merely focusing on the problems themselves.

As Randy and Mark articulate, there are four questions that leaders can pose to help reveal their own reality:

-“Do the people around you tell you everything?

-Who on your team would hesitate to walk in with the employee engagement numbers?

-Does someone bury the market share report – or similar unappetizing news they are worried for you to view – at the bottom of the agenda, hoping the meeting runs long?

-Does your assistant warn people about your mood before they talk to you?”

I laughed about that last question because for many years before I walked into my weekly meeting with a Georgetown Dean, I would call her assistant and inquire “How’s the weather today?” It was a running joke among a number of people who reported to that Dean because she had a reputation for sometimes being moody. Based upon the answer I received, I would raise a particular issue or save it for the following week.

If any of this resonates with you, please look in the mirror.

These issues originate with you as the leader. Nobody comes to work in your office on the first day with these behaviors. They learn the behaviors from your team members or from observing how you respond to information you did not like or from how you treated people on a tough day at work.

If this touches you in an uncomfortable manner, what can you do to better confront your leadership reality?

Mark and Randy suggest these three practices, which you can implement immediately to promote the changes you desire:

“Make the List. Write down every area of your life where a clear picture of reality would help. Start with the areas you have been avoiding, because that is where friction lives.

Find Fresh Eyes. Go to the people who challenge your assumptions instead of confirming them and hear them out (without defending yourself).

Build a Personal Board of Directors. The best leaders…keep peers, mentors, coaches, and consultants close, people with nothing to gain by telling them what they want to hear.”

Of course, these behaviors only work if the team members believe that telling you the truth will not hurt them. If you request the truth and then penalize someone for providing it, they will not speak that honestly again.

I love this concluding sentence from Mark and Randy:

“It is better to know where your blind spots are than to keep pretending they are not there.”
Think about that this week! 😊

If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!

-Larry