LEADERS CAN TAKE LESSONS FROM THE PLAYING FIELD TO THE OFFICE

Last Sunday, The Washington Post sports section included an article by Joe Tone. The article’s title: “In Youth Sports, Post-Game is Crucial: There’s a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Talk with Your Child Afterward.” Upon reading it, I realized these lessons can also apply at work.

Tone quotes John, O’Sullivan, founder, and CEO of Changing the Game Project, a nonprofit that advocates for a healthier youth sports system. O’Sullivan says “When you ask children often times what’s their worst memory of youth sports, it’s the ride home… what kids often tell us is that the ride home is the least teachable moment.” Tone suggests that what parents really ought to do is:

-Listen closely

-Listen actively

-Validate feelings of frustration

-Make it clear how much you value their contributions -Be intentional about giving them what they’re looking for: to be heard, or to be helped

This article reminded me of the post-game conversations I used to have with my sons when they were playing youth sports. And they played lots of sports: baseball, basketball, football, soccer, swimming and lacrosse. At one point in time, I used to give in to their elation or disappointment based solely on the results of a particular game. Later, I read a book that changed the way I spoke with them in the car. And after each game, we went through the same routine.

We focused on a small group of key questions:

-Did you win? (When they lost, it took quite some time to digest the result.) But then we moved onto other questions:

-Did you have fun?

-Did you work on your skills?

-Did you try to make your teammates better?

-Did you show good sportsmanship?

-Did you show respect for the other team?

-Did you show respect for the referees or umpires?

-Can you learn from your mistakes?

As I reflected upon this series of youth sports post-game ride home questions, I realized that the same approach can be taken in the office after certain occurrences take place.

So often we leaders are focused solely on the results of a particular project, action or endeavor. If the results are disappointing, leaders can get emotionally wrapped up in those results and cast blame on their teammates.

This approach leads to deleterious outcomes that can last for days or weeks. Instead, leaders can focus on other important queries:

-What happened here that led to this outcome?

-How did we all contribute to this particular outcome?

-Did we work together well as teammates?

-Did we help colleagues along the way when they needed our assistance?

-What did we learn as a result of this particular project?

-How can we apply what we’ve learned in the future to achieve a better result?

-How can we document those lessons for ourselves and others for the future?

Leading people is always about our own learning and helping others learn as well.

So as you continue your own leadership journey, please always ask good questions. Keep your eyes open to what you are learning and how you can share those valuable lessons with your teammates.

If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!

-Larry