GOSSIP IS A CANCER
At our synagogue in Potomac, Maryland, whenever there is a bar or bat mitzvah for 13 year-old boys or girls, the child at the center of the ceremony is asked to give a talk about that week’s portion of the Bible that is being read.
Several weeks ago, a young man spoke about what happens to be a very important leadership topic: How to avoid speaking negatively about other people, including gossip that can damage the reputation of the other person or your own..
This young man spoke about the consequences of speaking negatively about others. Our words he said, are a reflection of how we show up on a daily basis. When we speak negatively about others, it can sometimes harm us personally, damage how other people see us, and even affect the environment we create around us.
These days, with social media so prevalent, and with millions of people, jumping on every day to make negative comments about others, it is very tempting to step in and join along.
However, as this young man reminded us, it makes greater sense to guard our own speech and to use our words, both at home and at work, to build, heal, praise and love other people.
It does not take a lot of knowledge or experience to, as this young man said, take the high road and speak with kindness and respect about others. He quoted the old adage: “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. “
In all my years of facilitating, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People workshop at Georgetown University, the number one behavior that impacted cultures across the medical school, the business school, the university and the law school was negative gossip about other people.
Everyone bemoaned its existence. Everyone acknowledged it was a terrible aspect of their departmental culture. And yet everyone admitted that they sometimes engaged in it.
So I encourage you to take a hard look in the mirror.
-Look at your own behavior
-Look at your teammates’ behavior
-Look at your leaders’ behavior
-Look at your overall departmental culture
-Look at your organizational culture
Where negative gossip exists, ask yourself if you are playing a role in the fomenting of that gossip. If you are, please terminate that behavior.
If you are not, ask yourself what you can do to have a positive influence and help change that aspect of your culture.
Negative gossip is never helpful. It may feel good in the moment, but over the long-term it tears apart camaraderie and cohesion.
Please do all you can to role model ignoring negative gossip, not engaging in such gossip and encouraging others to do the same.
If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!
-Larry