LEADERS ARE AUTHENTIC, VULNERABLE AND CURIOUS

As we move through our journeys as leaders, sometimes we think we have figured out that “leadership thing.” As we have said here, leadership is a lifetime journey and we are never too old or too experienced to learn – or to be reminded – of important lessons.

Over the past several decades, I have known many experienced leaders who think they have it figured out. They may pay attention to points made by equally experienced leaders, but they do not pay much heed to leadership acumen displayed by younger leaders who are In the early stages of their leadership journeys.

I was reminded of this point earlier last week when I read a profile of Ilona Maher, a member of the U.S. Women’s Rugby Team. Perusing her profile re-enforced several lessons:

-Leaders move outside their comfort zones

-Leaders must be authentic

-Leaders must be vulnerable

-Leaders must always be open to new learning

I invite you to read some of these points Ilona makes in this article and ask yourself: Do I do that? Is that a lesson I have integrated? Do I pass that leadership lesson on to my own direct reports and colleagues?

Ilona says:

“I took a step outside my comfort zone of playing softball and played rugby. It completely changed my trajectory of life. Then I decided to play it in college, and I decided to transfer. I could have stayed comfortable and stayed at the college I was at, but I wanted to make a change. I wanted to do something else. And then when I was about to graduate college, I could have just continued with the nursing and got myself a stable job, but that was comfortable, and I wanted to try something else. So I went and tried to make the Olympic team, and look where it’s gotten me.

Her take on authenticity:

“I think it was taking a look around and seeing, “Oh, OK, wait, everybody’s kind of insecure. Everybody’s trying to figure everything else out. What if I just kind of owned it and owned myself and owned how I feel and who I am… For me, it just seems like it’s those who are supporting me who’ve allowed me to be myself because they encourage me.”

“When you feel like yourself, when you feel genuinely like yourself, you’re going to be just a better person, a better athlete…I showed every emotion on “Dancing with the Stars.” I showed the sadness, the anger, the annoyance. Because then I was able to be myself freely, and I didn’t have to put up a mask and try to be somebody. I just felt like I was myself. It’s so much easier to be yourself than anybody else.”

She is in touch with the critical leadership trait of vulnerability:

“I just read a quote: ‘By being yourself, you are also opening yourself up.’ It’s very vulnerable to be yourself. That means that not everybody’s going to like you. Not everybody’s going to vibe with you, and that’s down to your genuine self. It’s not like it’s a fake person. It’s truly who you are.

That can be tough. My mom said this once to me: ‘Well, you don’t like everybody, so why would you want everybody to like you?’ I was like, ‘Man, that’s really true’

It’s getting to a place where you don’t need the approval of others, and it’s very hard.
I mean, I still sometimes get caught up in that. There are going to be people always who maybe aren’t as secure or want to see others thrive. To be your authentic self is actually kind of like an “F U” to them and a brave and beautiful thing.”

Learning that one need not need a title to be a leader:

“I have been in some leadership roles, but I’ve never needed a title to be a leader. Even now, I wasn’t a captain because I never felt like I needed that to be a leader on a field or off the field. I think that’s what’s important. You can just be a good person. You can be a leader without being told to.

Some people can do it, and some people can’t. Some people are more followers. I think at times I’m a follower. I love it when people set things up for me or when they tell it to you, and I’m like, “This is awesome. Great stuff.”
We all have different roles to play, and I think you don’t have to be told you’re one thing.”

Finally, even at a young age, Ilana recognizes that learning about leadership is a lifetime journey:

“Take a look around. Look at this person or look at that person. Do you think they have it all figured out? Do you think they’re perfectly confident? Do you think they’re being completely themselves all the time? Take a deep look and have conversations with people. Like, “OK, you’re really this, but what do you feel here?” We’re so complex as people, and it’s not just black and white. OK, you’re authentic, so you’re done!…It’s not a one-size-fits-all, and it’s OK to be constantly on a journey learning it.”

Please be open to learning as you pursue your unique leadership journeys:

Learn from colleagues,
Learn from books and podcasts,
Learn from team members, and
Learn from young people like Ilana Maher.

If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!

-Larry