LEADERS REFLECT UPON THE BIG PICTURE – PART II

Welcome back for our second part of leadership lessons derived from an Instagram post I received from my wife. Remember that last week we reviewed the first three lessons:

1. Make Peace with Your Past

2. What Other People Think of You is None of Your Business

3. Time Heals Almost Everything – Give It Time

Today we will review the final four lessons from that wise Instagram post.

1. No One Is in Charge of Your Happiness Except You
This sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Yet when we are so intent on climbing our leadership ladder, we frequently blame our unhappiness or frustrations on others – our manager, our manager’s manager, our direct reports, other colleagues or departments, customers or clients, and sometimes our own friends or family members. It is easy to do that. It is efficient to do that. It is sometimes even fun to do that.

However, it is fool’s gold. We are responsible for our personal happiness. If we can train ourselves to look in the mirror and see ourselves accurately – as others see us – we can then take steps to truly enjoy our unique leadership journeys and have a positive impact upon the lives of those we are privileged to lead.

2. Don’t Compare Your Life to Others and Don’t Judge Them – You Have No Idea What Their Journey is All About
We think we can figure other people out, especially when we are younger. Human beings are story-making machines. Our brains are wired to create stories – about people, about places, about events. When we encounter teammates, colleagues or customers having a tough day or a frustrating week, we tend to judge them and compare them to us – “I would never act that way!” or “What does she think she’s doing – I’d never do that!”

Comparing ourselves to others is simple and it can be fun, especially if our comparison reflects well on us and poorly on them. However, we really have no idea what other people are going through behind the scenes. We often do not appreciate their unique personal or professional struggles. Instead of judging or comparing, we can offer kindness and empathy. Doing so will allow us to show up as better leaders.

3. Stop Thinking Too Much – It’s All Right Not to Know All the Answers
I think I wrote about this concept in one of my earliest newsletters several years ago. I quoted the CEO of Target as saying that “the most liberating day of my career is the day I realized I did not have to have all the answers.” As leaders, we are trained early in our careers to be “the experts.” However, being the expert does not necessarily mean having the answers to all questions.

What it really means is knowing what the most important questions to ask are and which members of our work teams would be the best persons to answer the questions knowledgeably and completely. That’s why our teammates are there – to help us help ourselves be the best leaders we can be.

4. Smile – You Don’t Own All the Problems in the World
People are always paying attention. They pay attention to what we say. They pay attention to what we don’t say. They pay attention to what we do. They pay attention to what we don’t do. And they pay attention to how we show up, including our facial expressions and tone of voice.

I learned this lesson the hard way. After many years running the CLE Department at Georgetown Law, one day my Assistant Director asked me for a private chat. She told me that on mornings of national conferences, my teammates feared when I walked into the registration area. She said I always showed up with “the Larry look.” I was nonplused.

“What do you mean,” I asked. She continued, “You always come in very serious, with a frown on your face. You do not smile. You may say ‘good morning’ and then you get right to work.” “Wow! I said. I never realized that.” “It puts everybody else on edge. It’s not a good way to start a two-day conference,” she opined.

After that conversation, I endeavored to change the way I showed up for national conferences, not just at the start, but throughout the two days until the closing remarks the following afternoon. It made a positive difference for my teammates – they noticed. Smiling can indeed make a difference!

So as you continue your leadership journeys, please remember these simple but powerful lessons. You will be glad you did!

If you believe this content would resonate with a friend or colleague, please feel free to forward it along!

-Larry